Men Diminishing Women, albeit Unwittingly—Even You, Barack Obama? Answer to the Quick Quiz of Yesterday

To make sense of this post, you need to first read the previous one, which asks you to identify the communication screw-up by President Obama in a 45-second video clip.

Obama’s mistake is the disrespect he metes out to House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, unwittingly of course. Take another listen to that video clip and note that Obama refers to the other three leaders in Congress--all of whom are men and one of whom (Mitch McConnell) is a “minority leader,” as is Nancy Pelosi--by their official titles. Thus, while thanking them, the president utters “the Speaker of the House”…“Democratic Leader Harry Reid”…and “Republican Leader Mitch McConnell” respectively. But the woman among them is referred to simply as “Nancy Pelosi” instead of “House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi” or “Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi.”

As noted in previous posts under the labels “diminution of women…” and “men diminishing women…,” such displays of disrespect for female professionals are, sadly, all too common, thanks to the way we men are hardwired. A classic example of this sort of invidiousness, one which I never fail to cite in my seminars on “first impression” and “diminishers,” involves George Stephanopoulos’s interview of four members of the 9-11 Commission. On that occasion, the supposedly urbane and suave Stephanopoulos repeatedly diminished the only woman among them--former U.S. Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick. Click here to revisit that post.

Sure, there are preemptive steps men can and should take to avoid such accidental slighting of female professionals during meetings, presentations, and the like, and I discuss them in my above mentioned seminars.

© Copyright 2013  V. J. Singal

Men Trivializing Women in a Professional Setting

Last weekend, while viewing some 2008 & 2009 recordings on my DVR, I came across a public affairs program broadcast on KTRK-TV, the ABC affiliate here in Houston, that left me indignant because of the blatant gender bias, however unintended it might have been.

The purpose of that show was to give Houstonians an insight into the four Republican candidates vying for the position of Harris County District Attorney. Here is the exact wording of the opening questions by host Art Rascon to the two men (Doug Perry and Jim Leitner) and two women (Kelly Siegler and Pat Lykos).
- (to the person on the extreme right) “Kelly Siegler, let’s start with you. There is a public trust problem with the DA’s office…..”
- (to the second person from the right) “Mr. Perry, what do you plan on doing to restore public trust in the DA’s office…”
- (to the 3rd person from the right) And how open should that office be, Pat Lykos? …
- (to the 4th person) “Mr. Jim Leitner, how much information is too much information for the public’s need to know…”

You can bet that the above will be "exhibit one" in future renditions of my sessions on “Diminishers” and “How to Minimize the Diminution of Women’s Communications in the Workplace.”
Incidentally, Pat Lykos went on to win the election and is the current Harris County District Attorney.

Men Diminishing Women in the Workplace, Albeit Unwittingly

To graphically illustrate the unwitting diminution of women that occurs in the workplace, even by men who are supposedly sophisticated and urbane, I narrated the following story to my audience at last week’s Toastmasters District 56 Fall Conference in Houston, just as I did a few weeks earlier to employees of Shell and the USDA, among others. [Incidentally, this is just one of the many recent cases I can readily recount that help rebut those who contend that such diminution of women’s communications is a thing of the past and that the topic is passé.]

A couple of years ago, around the anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, George Stephanopoulos, host of ABC's “This Week with George Stephanopoulos," interviewed a panel comprising four members of the 9-11 Commission--former Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick, Attorney Richard Ben-Veniste, former Navy Secretary John Lehman, and Commission Chairman Thomas Kean. There were five rounds of questions, hence a total of 20 questions, and this is how Mr. Stephanopoulos addressed the panelists each time he asked a question: For each of the five questions put to Gorelick, she was addressed simply as “Jamie”; Ben-Veniste was addressed “Richard Ben-Veniste” all five times; the other two men were addressed as “Secretary Lehman” and “Commissioner Kean” respectively each time they were asked a question. I was aghast and indignant at seeing even George Stephanopoulos, widely regarded as one of our more suave and polished TV hosts, succumb to how we men are “hardwired.”

The express purpose of my sharing the above story with audiences is to raise men’s consciousness on this issue. The screw-up by Mr. Stephanopoulos, along with a couple of other real-life examples which specifically illustrate how men are losing job/ sales opportunities thanks to such invidious, albeit unconscious, behavior, have become staples of some of my communication modules. In a future blog, I will be discussing simple tactics and strategies that can be employed to preempt or nullify such situations.

Upcoming Presentation that is Open to the Public: “Simple Verbal and Nonverbal Skills for Creating a Highly Favorable First Impression”

This coming Saturday, November 21, I will be presenting two sessions on “Simple Verbal and Nonverbal Skills for Creating a Highly Favorable First Impression” at the Toastmasters District 56 Fall Conference to be held at Unity Church’s Grace Hall, 2929 Unity Drive, Houston, TX 77057. [For location, click on: http://www.d56fallconference.com ] The two sessions, each 45-mintues long, will begin at 11:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. respectively. Non-Toastmasters are welcome to attend either session.

This topic, one of the newest in my repertoire, has previously been presented at, among others, the USDA’s Natural Resources Conservation Service, Shell Oil, the Kellogg School of Management, Project Management Institute’s Austin Chapter (http://www.verbalenergy.com/evaluations_austin.html) and some job fairs. Among the modules on my agenda: the theory of matching contrasts for men’s attire; the visceral attraction of dental enamel; answering a “why” question; men diminishing women unwittingly; the ability to initiate and sustain an engaging conversation with anyone; enunciation/pronunciation for foreign-born professionals; the power of a single word that is out-of-the-ordinary and strong, vivid, or evocative.