Neil Gorsuch Sure Doesn’t Know How to Pick a Necktie; If You Have a Low-Contrast Face, Like His, You Can do Much Better!

Neil Gorsuch, the newest addition to the U.S. Supreme Court’s lofty bench of nine justices, is undoubtedly one of the finest and most competent jurists in the land. But with respect to attire--specifically, in the matter of picking a necktie for, say, special occasions--I’m afraid this judge extraordinaire doesn’t seem to have a clue.

[Yes, some aspects of Neil Gorsuch’s ideology are antithetical to mine. Yet, I must admit, I was extremely impressed by the gravitas he displayed during his Senate confirmation hearings this past March.]

Discussion of the clip below, which is from early February when, following his nomination by President Trump, Gorsuch began calling on prominent U.S. senators, as do all Supreme Court nominees prior to their confirmation hearings. The moment you launch the video clip--I’m afraid it’s only three seconds long--your eyes will be captured by Gorsuch’s extremely high contrast tie. Of course, you will then look at his face but only momentarily because the low center of gravity of his overall attire (thanks to that attention grabbing neckwear) will force down your gaze and keep it there.

If you’ve read some of my previous posts on men’s attire, you’ll see my point. If not, and for tips on how someone who, like Gorsuch, has a low contrast visage can sharply enhance their appearance and add a glow to their face, start with the November 27, 2011, post and then look at some of the more recent ones bearing the label “men’s attire.” You’ll find the ones featuring Sen. Bob Corker to be particularly useful.

A request to any reader who has a hotline to Justice Gorsuch: Please convey the following offer to the illustrious judge: “Even though I do not share some of your extremely conservative ideology, I’ll be thrilled to give you a free coaching session on how to sharpen your appearance. The only cost to you: the roundtrip fare from Houston to Washington D.C.”

© Copyright 2017  V. J. Singal

 

 









 

Video of a Perfect Handshake; Yes, it’s “Three Pumps” Regardless of Gender!

As emphasized in my previous post on the subject, which featured a clip of Brian Williams shaking hands with the wife of then Republican nominee Mitt Romney, yes, it’s three pumps regardless of gender. 

In my seminars on how to create a highly favorable first impression, how to enhance your executive presence, and other related topics, invariably some participants express incredulity when I tell them that the perfect handshake constitutes three pumps even when it’s a guy shaking hands with a woman. The video clip below shows Macy’s CEO Terry Lundgren doing a three-pump handshake with a store employee. (Some may quibble, saying that his is approximately three and a half pumps!) 

© Copyright 2016  V. J. Singal
 

 

No, You Do Not Get a Second Chance to Make a Good First Impression—Rick Perry Just Proved It!

This time around--his second quest for the Republican presidential nomination--Rick Perry was running a far better campaign than four years ago, say most political analysts. During every public appearance, he was well prepared and cogent. Yet, the former Texas governor was consistently registering close to 0% (yes, “zero percent”) in the polls, which is why he became the first of the sixteen or so major Republican White House aspirants to drop out.

 

The primary reason why Rick Perry failed to get any traction this time? Memories of his abysmal performance in 2011, especially his infamous “oops” moment during a debate, continued to linger. CNN’s Jeff Zeleny put it best: Appearing on “Washington Week in Review” a day after Perry’s withdrawal, Zeleny commented: “Perry was a much better candidate this time around, no question! He really studied the issues and things, but all of our impressions of Rick Perry are locked in from four years ago. Result: he was polling close to 0% and didn’t have money to pay even the light bill.”

 

© Copyright 2015 V.J. Singal

 

A Pathetic First Impression! 10-second Video Clip of 2016 Presidential Aspirant Who Doesn’t Have a Clue How to Look Pleasing and “Connect” Instantly

First, the comments below are not fueled by any political ideology: My criticism would have been equally vigorous, equally scathing, had the subject been a Democrat.

Now, click on the 10-second video clip below, which is from a very recent edition (Sunday, March 1) of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” and you’ll observe a miserable first impression created by the guest. 
 

Why do I say "miserable"? For two reasons: First, the guest (Ben Carson, a Republican presidential aspirant for 2016) appears statue-like and inanimate--what I describe in my seminars and coaching as the “Egyptian Sphinx model.”  Second, his expression is abjectly cheerless, even funereal! 

Just two of the numerous things Carson could have done in the opening seconds to create a favorable first impression: a big, warm smile and at least a modicum of physical movement--say, leaning in momentarily. And I’m not even getting into aspects of his attire, such as his poor choice of tie. For a fuller discussion on that, please visit my posts on “men’s attire,” where I discuss the principle of matching contrasts. 

Ben Carson’s has to be one of the worst first impressions I have ever seen from a person who is trying to market himself or herself, let alone someone who wants to be elected America’s next leader.

© Copyright 2015  V. J. Singal

 

Another Tip for my Caucasian Readers on How to Create a High-Impact Attire: Capitalizing on One of the LIGHTER Colors in Your Facial Skin

In my post of February 4, 2014, I showed Sen. Bob Corker, arguably the best dressed of all our current male U.S. senators, donning a tie whose color was at the dark end of the range of natural hues in his face. Well, the clip below, from a recent interview on CBS “Face the Nation” (still my favorite among all the Sunday morning television talk shows), has the senator wearing a tie whose dominant color is somewhere at the mid-point of all the colors visible on his face. And he looks good, just as in all of my previous posts featuring him. 

 

The objective of this post, along with that of last February, is to demonstrate that when picking a tie, a typical Caucasian man has a very wide choice of colors that are (i) intrinsically pleasing, and (ii) will make the person look splendid because that entire range of colors is in keeping with the principle of matching contrasts discussed in my previous posts. Alas, the situation is far less favorable or “colorful” for people of color--men like me--whose relatively dark facial skin seriously limits their choice of neck ties.

© Copyright 2015  V. J. Singal

 

Tip for My Caucasian Readers on How to Create a High-Impact Attire: Capitalize on the Colors in Your Facial Skin When Selecting a Tie

My first post on how to select an appropriate tie (November 28, 2012), which had an accompanying video clip of Sen. Bob Corker of Tennessee to illustrate my point, focused on how someone with light hair could look sharp by picking a tie of somewhat matching color (i.e., matching the color of his hair) and then anchoring the rest of the attire around it. The harmony thus created significantly enhanced the person’s facial glow and his overall appearance.

Well, an alternate starting point for picking a high-impact attire is for a man to select a tie that matches one of the hues that are in his facial skin and then anchor the rest of the attire around it. The video clip below shows Sen. Bob Corker wearing a tie which matches the dominant color of the upper half of his face. Note that this particular approach is especially easy for Caucasian men. Why?  Because of the gradation of pinkish and reddish hues that usually exists on the face of the typical Caucasian, thus allowing him to pick a tie from a wide range of matching and pleasing colors.

My compliments to the exemplary Sen. Corker, a man who knows how to capitalize on the silver gray of his hair and the range of colors embedded in his facial skin.

© Copyright 2014  V. J. Singal

 

 

How Life Magazine got the Rights to Zapruder Film: Finest Example of the Power of Politeness

I presume all of my readers have heard about the Zapruder film—the only movie that captured the precise moment when President Kennedy was fatally struck in the head by a bullet. [Abraham Zapruder, a Dallas businessman and a passionate Kennedy supporter, happened to be filming the presidential limousine from up close with his 8 mm movie camera when Oswald did his evil deed.]  Well, how Life magazine got the complete rights to that precious Zapruder film is a fascinating story and a powerful testament to the power of smiling and the power of being polite.  Here is a summary of what was narrated to CBS’s Bob Schieffer by former Life editor Dick Stolley on the November 3, 2013, edition of “Face the Nation.”

On the morning of the Nov. 22 assassination, Stolley was in Los Angeles. At the directions of his superiors, he immediately flew to Dallas; learned from others about Abraham Zapruder as being “the guy with a movie camera in Daley Plaza”; and met with the latter the following morning. After looking at the film in the company of two secret service agents, Stolley bought print rights for $50,000 and sent the film to Life’s head quarters in New York.

At the direction of his superiors, Stolley revisited Zapruder two days later, this time to buy complete rights for $150,000.  After the deal was done, as Stolley was speaking with one of Zapruder’s partners to get some more details, that associate of Zapruder interjected: “Do you know why you got that film?” Stolley replied “What do you mean—money?” The partner then repeated his question, saying “Do you know why you got it (i.e., the rights) and not those other people out in the hall?” When Stolley responded “I have no idea,” the partner said “Because you were a gentleman!”

© Copyright 2013  V. J. Singal

Because of a Poor Choice of Words, Guest on the “Diane Rehm Show” Came Across as a Scold

Avoid using the phrase “as I told you…” unless you absolutely must. Why? Because, unless the words are accompanied by friendly and pleasing nonverbals, you can come across like a scold!  Here is a specific example:

During the October 1, 2013, edition of the “Diane Rehm Show,” which was about the shrinking population of the monarch butterfly, as guest panelist Tamie DeWitt (an invertebrate biologist and a “monarch expert”) was explaining how her team catches monarchs, she added: “It’s a lot easier than you think because as I told you before, these monarchs are very focused on getting to Mexico.” [This sentence occurs at 11:13:15 in the transcript.]

Now, I have no doubt that Tamie DeWitt is as endearing and pleasing a personality as is the subject of her pursuits--i.e., monarch butterflies--and I am sure she meant to respond in a most friendly and pleasing manner. But the words “as I told you before,” compounded by her relatively strong voice and rapid speech, made Ms. DeWitt sound like a scold. To us radio listeners, who couldn’t see any disarming or mitigating facial expression and other body language (if there were any), she came across—at that precise moment—as one who was admonishing or at least mildly reprimanding the person asking the questions, host Diane Rehm.

So, how else could Ms. DeWitt have worded her response? Well, how about something like this: “As I was saying earlier…” or “As I indicated earlier….” In some situations, one could use an even humbler alternative: “As I was suggesting earlier...”

Bottom line: Unless you are using appropriately friendly and endearing body language or you really mean to chide someone (or express annoyance or irritation), it’s best to avoid using the word “told” as in “As I told you….”

© Copyright 2013  V. J. Singal

Upcoming Seminar that is Open to the Public and FREE!

I will present “Some Simple Verbal and Nonverbal Skills for Creating a Highly Favorable First Impression” -- perhaps one of the two most popular topics in my repertoire --  at the Epiphany Church in Katy this coming Monday (July 1) evening.  Call me at 281-463-2500 if interested. Copies of “The Articulate Professional – 3^rd Edition” will be available at a deep discount.

Even You, the Princeton-and-Yale-Educated Sonia Sotomayor? A Most Glaring — and Unforgivable — Mispronunciation by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice

First, my customary declaration for posts on “mispronounced words”: The objective is NOT to denigrate or ridicule someone. Instead, I feature such posts in the belief that if a highly educated person is mispronouncing a particular word, there is an extremely high probability that at least a few of my blog readers are making the same error. In other words, these posts are meant to serve as “pronunciation alerts!”

Now, click on the 30-second video clip below and note how U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor mispronounces the word chasm [as chaz-um] even though, just seconds earlier, PBS interviewer Gwen Ifill has pronounced it correctly [as kaz-um]. This is egregious! It is unforgivable, considering that chasm is far removed from the category of highfalutin, arcane, or grandiloquent words that were known to and used by only the late William F. Buckley. [Lest you think I am disparaging Mr. Buckley, please know that in my book “The Articulate Professional” I describe him as “a cerebral Olympian” and “a man of Olympian intellect.”]

A reminder why correct pronunciation matters: In the case of Supreme Court justices, you can automatically assume that they are highly educated, else they wouldn’t have made it to the nation’s highest court. [According to Wikipedia, Sonia Sotomayor graduated summa cum laude from Princeton and has a J.D. from Yale Law School.] But, if you were to hear such a glaring mispronunciation from, say, a new acquaintance whose background you know not, you wouldn’t be faulted for assuming that the person is not very well educated or that he or she leads an insular life.

© Copyright 2013  V. J. Singal

Quick Quiz, This Time on How to Create a Better First Impression

The 21-second video clip below is from the opening moments of a recent PBS-Nightly Business Report interview with Morningstar’s highly regarded R.J. Hottovy.

Question for you: Identify two things that Mr. Hottovy, who is described on LinkedIn as a global director for research at the famed investment advice company, could have done to create a stronger, a more favorable first impression even before he started to speak in response to the interviewer’s first question.

This should be really easy if you’ve read some of my posts below or attended one of my seminars on the subject of how to create a highly favorable first impression.

Tune in to this blog tomorrow for the answer.

© Copyright 2012 V. J. Singal

The Perfect Handshake: Yes, It’s “Three Pumps” Regardless of Participants’ Gender

During my seminars on “Some Simple Skills for Creating a Highly Favorable First Impression,” I invariably demonstrate the “perfect handshake,” a key component of which is doing three pumps. And that almost always provokes the following question from someone in the audience: “Should there be three pumps even when it’s a guy shaking hands with a woman?” My unequivocal “yes” surprises some, perhaps because they think that three pumps might come across as much too macho. Sometimes I respond to that bit of incredulity by telling them of a video clip showing President Obama entering a small conference room packed with women, and that as he went around the table greeting each person, yes, he did the three pumps almost unfailingly.

Click on the video clip below, and you’ll see NBC’s Brian Williams doing a three-pump handshake with Ann Romney at the conclusion of his interview with her yesterday. Yes, the pumps look to be a bit tepid, but that’s probably because a vigorous handshake can be quite awkward when both participants are seated.

© Copyright 2012 V. J. Singal

Example of a Poor First Impression: Much of a Speaker’s Face Being Blocked from View by his Coffee Cup as he enters the room

Take a look at the video clip below. As White House Press Secretary Jay Carney enters the press briefing room, much of his face is blocked from view because, for some reason, he wants to take in some few precious sips just before taking control of the lectern. Not a good idea. To me, this sort of body language smacks of perfunctoriness. It suggests the presenter is much too casual, that he takes the audience for granted. And no, my criticism is not at all ideological: I am not one of those rabid, mindless critics who find fault with Obama and his administration on every issue. Yes, some of my readers might disagree with my stance, pointing out that because the audience in the White House Press Room is extremely familiar with Carney, this is not a case of a poor first impression. What they (the people who do not find fault with Carney’s body language in the clip below) are not realizing is that Carney must surely be aware that on days when he has something important to say, TV news channels typically broadcast images of his entering the room, and several viewers across the nation are probably not familiar with Carney’s personality.

© Copyright 2012 V. J. Singal

Executive Communication: Shell Oil President Marvin Odum Wins Me Over Instantly, Thanks to a Most Disarming and Endearing Smile

Take a look at the video clip below which is from a recent interview broadcast on PBS’s famed Nightly Business Report. I believe you too will be full of admiration for Shell Oil President Marvin Odum’s facial expression: His wide, almost constant, and somewhat apologetic smile gives him a disarming appearance, thus helping him come across as personable, approachable, full of the milk of human kindness… (I could go on).

[Click here for the full interview.]

The clip below is now Exhibit One when I am coaching top executives (as well as others who have to make presentations to new audiences) on how to be endearing and create a highly favorable first impression.

© Copyright 2012 V. J. Singal

Terminating an Interminable Handshake; How to Free Your Hand From Someone Who Won’t Let Go (Without Seeming Rude)

Today, while discussing the “Three-Pump Handshake” during my seminar on “Some Simple Verbal and Nonverbal Skills for Creating a Highly Favorable First Impression” at a division of Subsea 7, one of the participants asked the following question: What is one to do if the other person just clings onto you, i.e. will not let go of your right hand even after you’ve ended the “three pumps”? In other words, how do you extricate your hand from the other person’s grasp without coming across as rude?

After some discussion, here was the consensus: Go ahead and free your right hand from the other person’s hold (after the three pumps) but as you are doing so, gently place your left hand on the other person’s right shoulder or arm as a compensating gesture. Needless to say, you should be exhibiting the “all-32 teeth-showing smile” as you are executing all these maneuvers. In fact, a couple of the audience members--one of them a woman--confirmed having tried this before and that it worked out beautifully.

© Copyright 2012 V. J. Singal

Female Attire: For “Low Contrast” Women, A Contrasting Color Is A Must!

Just as is the case with low-contrast men, the face of a low-contrast woman (i.e. a light skinned blonde) will be overwhelmed if she were to wear a high contrast attire (such as a black dress with a prominent white border). The observer’s gaze will be constantly pulled down by the thus lowered center of gravity.

On the flip side, a low contrast woman should assiduously avoid wearing a dress that is almost identical in color to her face and hair because it will make her look flat and boring. Wearing a color that provides a nice contrast to her skin tones will sharply enhance the light-skinned woman’s presence and bolster her personality.

The three video clips below, featuring Consuelo Mack (whom I strongly admire because of the great public service she is providing through her “Wealthtrack” television program on PBS) illustrate my point. Clearly, Ms. Mack looks much sharper--has a far more robust appearance--in clips 2 and 3 than in clip 1 which presents an image that is almost monochromatic from top to bottom.

© Copyright 2011 V. J. Singal

A Common Mistake by Caucasian/ Other Light Skinned Men When Selecting a Tie: The Perils of an Attire with Contrast that Far Exceeds That of Face

The problem, stated perhaps much too cryptically in the above title, is best explained by the first of the two video clips at the bottom of this post. And let’s begin by describing the subject in the video, who happens to be Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey. He has what experts call a “low-contrast face,” as do all men who have a very light skin and possess blonde/very light brown hair or no hair at all. [As a corollary, if Erdogan had lots of brown hair, his would be a “medium-contrast” face, and if he had lots of black hair, the term to describe his natural features above the neck would be “high contrast,” as is the case with most young Chinese males.]

Now let’s turn to Erdogan’s attire in the first clip. The clothes present a very high contrast, thanks to the design of the tie, what with its alternating (and bold!) black and white stripes. The result: an attire that easily dominates the rest of him, so much so that his face--which is what ultimately should attract and hold the observer’s eye--retreats into the background, almost falling off the picture. Why is this happening? Because, with the “center of gravity” of Erdogan’s overall appearance having been lowered to a spot below the neck, the observer’s gaze too is forcibly pulled down, to his chest area! It’s extremely important to note that Erdogan would have had a similar problem of the face being overwhelmed by a high contrast attire if he had worn a plain tie but one that contrasted very strongly with the rest of his clothes--for instance, a bright red tie, a white shirt, and a very dark jacket.

Let us now click on the second video clip. Notice that this time, as you look at him, your gaze is NOT pulled down below the neck. In fact, the glow emanating from his face is heightened thanks to the appropriateness of his attire. Yes, his tie-shirt-jacket combination does have an inbuilt contrast but the level is low, matching in intensity the low contrast of his face. You might well ask, what if Erdogan had swung to the other extreme, donning an attire with absolutely no contrast, such as a light blue shirt, light blue tie, and light blue jacket? Well, that’s not a good idea either because such an attire, while not pulling down the center of gravity from his face, would look boring and unimaginative and fail to add to the glow from his face. The unfavorable impression that results from a timid, ultra-low contrast attire will be the subject of a later blog.

The key lesson in all this: when choosing an attire, remember the overall objective, which is to heighten the glow from you face and thus hold the observer’s attention to it. The next time you step into an apparel store to buy a new tie, do not be seduced by a tie’s intrinsic beauty.

© Copyright 2011 V. J. Singal

Another Recent Case of Verbal Virus -- Meet Mr. "Correct"

In the past, I’ve written about people who suffer from such disfluencies as beginning almost every sentence they utter with the word “actually,” “basically,” and so on.

Well, the other day, I got a phone call from a young manager, probably in this mid-thirties, well educated and extremely intelligent, who was looking for an executive coach in connection with a presentation he was to make to a large audience. During that half-hour conversation, I noticed he had one glaring shortcoming: every question I put to him was answered with the word “correct” (that is, if he was replying in the affirmative). A couple of days later, we had a face-to-face get acquainted meeting—an opportunity I offer to every potential client located in the Greater Houston area. One of the many things I wanted to observe in this meeting, which was at a Starbucks, was whether the spate of “corrects” during the previous phone conversation was a result of his having a bad day or whether it was a pathological affliction. Well, this exec, let’s just call him John, did not disappoint. During the 45-minute conversation, I must have asked him dozens of questions relating to his background, his career aspirations, his present job, etc., most of which he replied in the affirmative and each time that was the case, the response was “correct.”

Not only is such an affliction extremely irritating to the listener, it also limits the speaker’s quality of expression. Imagine the vocal variety, varied facial expression, and other nonverbals he could have employed had he answered my questions with such alternative responses as: yes or yeah; absolutely; that’s right; sure thing; and of course, correct.

© Copyright 2011 V. J. Singal

Creating a Favorable Impression: A Dash of Color Will Go a Long Way, Says New Study

These may well be “ultra-modern” times, the age of millenarians, but people still seem to judge a book by its cover! In other words, when it comes to forming a first impression of a published work, society is as unsophisticated as, say, when books appeared for the first time.

Definitive proof that this atavistic impulse still reigns was provided by a piece aired on American Public Media’s “Marketplace” Monday before last (Aug. 22). According to a new study by the University of Miami’s business school, beautifying a company’s annual report by adding just one color can have the same impact on people’s perception of a company’s value as a 20% increase in revenue!

I believe the above has major implications for all manner of day-to-day activity, ranging from selecting attire--instead of a monochrome outfit, how about a dash of color--to selecting the cover for a report or proposal you are about to present to a client.

© Copyright 2011 V. J. Singal

High Impact Presentations; Overcoming the Accent Handicap: Other Easy Strategies and Tactics for Foreign-borns

Yesterday’s post focused on one of the tactics I use in the case of words that are extremely relevant to my presentations but which are sometimes misunderstood or are unintelligible to some in the audience because of my enunciation (words such as “thrust”).

Of course, as discussed in previous blog posts, foreign-borns have several other strategies and tactics in their arsenal to minimize the loss of communication that can result because of an accent. Some of these preemptive actions:

1. Speaking slower, especially at the beginning of a conversation or presentation.
2. Clearly enunciating every syllable and consonant because that is unquestionably the most effective antidote to an accent.
3. Maintaining a list of “troublesome” words—words that pose difficulty for your audiences because of the way you pronounce them—and developing a corresponding list of alternate words. [For instance, a few years ago, when I found people were having difficulty with my enunciation of “burp,” I immediately switched to saying “belch” instead.]
4. As another alternative to dealing with your list of “troublesome” words, especially while delivering presentations, having that word appear in print on a PowerPoint slide just as you are about to utter it in front of that audience for the first time.
5. Each time you say a word that you believe may not be fully understood by everyone in the audience, immediately following-up with a synonym or synonymous phrase.

For a fuller discussion of the above five tips, I would urge you to visit my blog post of June 24, 2010.

© Copyright 2011 V. J. Singal